Single Dad, Shitty Mom

Or: How I Learned that Parental Alienation is REAL

The Here And Now #2: Lawyer’d Up

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Moving into battle. Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld once made an off-color remark about going to war with the army you want, versus going to war with the army you HAVE. My politics aside, I think the sentiment is that IF you have to go to war, you better make DAMN SURE you are armed with what you need to fight it, and WIN.

When it comes to having to go to war with the unruly, toxic pain-in-the-ass that is keeping you from your children, that is a fight that you HAVE to win. If you don’t win, you’ll face bigger and greater problems, which will compound over time, and make your situation worse. And to do that, you need an advocate. You need someone that  understands your situation, is experienced and knowledgable enough to see the signs, and someone that can articulate THROUGH THE LAW the violation of your parental rights, and help to move towards a solution that can rectify and resolved the situation. In other words, you need a GOOD LAWYER.

Through my employer, as of September of last year (my initial hire), my benefits package includes Hyatt Legal Services. This plan enables me to consult with any of the attorneys in their network FOR FREE, as a part of my membership benefits package ($8/month). I can get free consultation and document review, either over the phone or in-office, as many times as necessary. It’s basically like having lawyers on retainer to handle MANY different legal matters, including– in my case– family law.

Through this service, I was able to find a lawyer. He’s smart, has years of experience, he TOOK NOTES while we spoke. My initial communications with him were via email. Over the months, after speaking to other lawyers, I was able to craft a 5-page deposition which summed up my entire situation. We met today for about 90 minutes, where I laid EVERYTHING out.

Your time is limited with these people, so you have to work ahead of time to make as concise a case as you can. I know whenever you tell the story to your friends, for example, you could ramble on for DAYS about the crazy shit she/he has done and said.  However, when you are talking to someone who gets paid BY THE HOUR, or someone who is only giving you 30 minutes to an hour of counsoltation time…you want to be able to tell a concise summary of your story in less than 10 minutes. You want to have court documents, any paper work, photos or videos that ADD TO THE NARRATIVE. It’s one thing to make claims or accusations…it’s another thing to PROVE it. I know in my case, ‘crazy’ will say what she thinks people need to hear to be on her side. She needs people to not only hear what she is saying, but to not ask any follow-up questions. If you question her any further…you’re “harassing” her.

The first step in the long war for our kids is getting the law on your side. The obvious part is taken care of– YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT. YOU are trying to do what is best FOR YOUR CHILD. When the other party’s interest far exceed those of the child, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to set things straight. Do yoru homework, FIND THE RIGHT LAWYER. Talk to them– TELL THEM EVERYTHING. LEAVE NOTHING OUT– no matter if you think it’s embarrassing, or whatever– the more you are your lawyer with the truth…the better off you AND YOUR CHILD will be in the future.

Much more to share, much more to talk about. I will have more information on web resources, books, and other things as time goes on. I’m trying to write and post as often as possible. There’s a lot going on right now…and I think things will only get more productive and produce the best results for my little girl.



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